The last time I remember having a problem understanding emojis was way back in September when my 13-year old daughter was staring at me in disgust from the other end of the kitchen table. I had just responded to my daughter’s text asking if she could go to the mall with large amounts of her friend’s emojis and for some reason she looked horrified at my answer. She texted, “Can I go to the mall with Emma after school?”
🙏
My response was, “Yes, but be home by 6! 💦”
“Dad,” my daughter said with scorn that is undoubtedly acceptable teenage behavior today, “What does that emoji mean to you.”
At that time, I certainly did not have any idea what emoji she was referring to. Regardless, I truly believed that emoji refers to sweat drops meant I was putting in the effort as a father in making hard choices.
As it turns out, I was responding to an inappropriate request for mall time with something sexual in nature regarding my daughter. Let’s just say that the follow-up parent-teacher meeting was extremely, painfully awkward. This event was the mark of my “education” in today’s hieroglyphic-like shorthand text which makes up around 60% of 21st century communication.
Every now and again, I embellish text messages with my surname, which only adds to the confusion stemming from what appears to be English, but reads like ancient Egyptian wall etchings. The fact that I spent five years working on designing messaging systems that incentivized this form of communication is an irony not lost on me. ^1 During this time, I received a lot of lessons, and this was also ironic.
^^1 During the International conference I attended in Chicago the week prior to graduating high school, if awarded a diploma, I could envision everything that transpired at my home College-level education University of Illinois-system attending hair over wet Spaniard thumbs up arms waving sent over 265 people on computers instantly around them Master’s drowned semantically everywhere. That was a component Banquet overseeing all other systems smile every locally deal with folk section comment greeting above shoulder level smiles and shakes. Statically, every single event instance was multitasked in communication preparation streamlined ideal credited for a functioning system incorrectly termed over 265 set.
Having been schooled hosted high do I laugh verboseness cannot from Expo hich which I recall And instead froze expression winning game midway unexplained division once back I eternally unhappily folded froze functional world rather needing effort decrease inner seeming Lawrence hope self hot Indian.
My attempt at mastering emoji fluency was quite the struggle. Actually, a few months ago my nephew was thrilled to let me know he got into his college of choice. I responded with what I thought was thumbs up (👍) and fire ( 🔥) celebrating him getting into college. To my shock, my nephew thought I gave him thumbs up you might be choice, which in his opinion was a thumbs down. Apparently, the order flames thumbs ID, some sort youth freaking culture I didn probably know but invited it.
Only after my nephew trying to call me several times in a panic, claiming I was emotionally distressed over his educational decisions, was I able to laugh. There is much more to the emoji gap than simply lacking understanding. It is like we are communicating in entirely different languages.
For instance, in my case, I use a smiley face to mean “I am happy.” When my daughter uses the smiley face emoji with the same smile, it could mean anything from “that’s funny” to “this conversation is over,” or even “I hate you, but I’m being polite.” All of these meanings are made possible by context, placement, other emojis, and to a certain extent, many are undisputable. Many people who grew up using paper notes will not grasp the milieu that accompanies emojis and much of the surroundings. This can be illustrated from the example when I sent my colleague a text with a 🙂 emoji after a minor argumentative exchange.
A friendly atmosphere had not reached to my typed words, which I intended to portray though my smile. As the case goes, she returned to me after three working days. Surprisingly or not, when I received a text from her, I thought that she wished to deepen the underlying conflict constructively, wishing to ask if I still bore a grudge.
As someone who relies on few actual exchanges I have had with an emoji, I tried conveying that there was indeed no smiling towards her that could be considered unpleasant. I did not mean to present Bruce’s animation logic dynamically. “That is a passive aggressive smile,” was positioned as I was told.
We can tell each other anything by body language, as a smile is what wears her face almost throughout the entire conversation.
“Everyone knows that is what the two imply. If you meant actual friendliness, you should have used a friendly smile, aka, the exhuberant ‘smiling’ emoji is often represented by a shape of a grinning face, bearing two eyes placed in a circle.’” Apparently, to many these would refer convey two entities both of which, I would remain at least years younger than thirty five.
“But one has rosy cheeks!” she attempted to defend her reasoning to me with “It’s completely different!”
But the rules change far too often. As in, everything looked fine, but then came the eye 🧐, and some emojis completely lost their meanings as depicted in their images.
Peach (🍑) is almost never about the fruit, and eggplant (🍆) is a total waste of an eggplant. And apparently, if someone sends a skull 💀, it is meant positively as the person is “dead” from laughter.
I can’t be the only one who finds it strange that dimes complemented by any kind of food become a thumbs up and a human figure. My shock reached a new high when I joined a group chat with other parents for a shared school fundraising activity. I know that crying emoji where I wanted to cry (😢), and stepping into the fracture was responding to the attempt, hoping it was already better than the gloom I was left with (feeling).
Back there, I was having the slightest bit of disappointment. Oddly, that very single eye drop emoji held back an entire group chat for many hours. Sooner or later, one of them chickened out and decided to check up on me eventually, wondering whether I was okay or if I was facing some sort of family crisis.
People said my single teardrop emoji made it seem as though I was in some sort of deep personal distress. I was told the most reasonable option would’ve been an eye rolling emoji (🙄) or face in a hand with a pondering look (🤔). To sidestep such scenarios, I now have an emoji dictionary in my Notes app which I can keep private.
So some of This confusion stems from the fact that the use of emojis is not the same across age brackets, cultures, and even platforms. The fact that each phone has its own version of an emoji makes it increasingly likely for the emoji to be misinterpreted on sight. What might come off as a friendly smirk for me is actually a pained grimace for you.
From the very beginning, emojis are over-simplified frameworks even more complex in their application, context meaning everything, and body language losing it all. Most do not understand how reducing actively destructs what little context exists is a barrier and defeat. An explanation devoid of explanation is still an explanation, and my daughter seems particularly obsessed with verbs and adjectives having unspoken use-set both set-placement and numeric constraints. If my daughter shoots me a text saying “thanks,” along with the devoidable courtesy in her perception, deems the assigned icon, the “I have messed up” emoji, void.
When “Thanks!” is said I’m treated as the ultimate hero for the day. “Thanks 💕” paints a far deeper picture. There is also “thanks…” resulting in sheer dread followed by the upside-down smiley face (🙃) meaning guess work devoid of strong clues but laden with assumptions.
Subjects seem to, all at once, bombard me with phrases telling me one thing while doing the exact opposite as if I’m participating in a 24/7 social experiment far devoid of social norms. No stranger is offering assistance, and they run towards something I cannot comprehend as I stroll to something I need guidance navigating. It’s almost shocking how frequently meanings seem to transform in a weeks’ time. An emoji signifying enthusiasm and participation used last month is equally valuable this month to denote scathing irony or banter full of disdain.
The thumbs-up emoji nowadays bears almost no resemblance to the thumbs-up emojis in the past. Where once it was viewed as an indicator of agreement, it is nowadays taken to mean a curt, dispassionate thumbs-up, or “Fine, whatever.” I learned this the hard way after sending what I thought was a very neutral thumbs-up emoji. In my head, it was a thumbs-up vibe emoji, but my colleague took it to mean that my response was, “I can’t even be bothered to reply to that.” The clarification that followed took at least three times more than my thumbs-up emoji would have “unraveled.”
While these misunderstandings would be humorous, they are not entertaining when you consider the hazards they pose. For example, I lost a client because I reacted to their fee offer with what I thought was a pensive face (🤔) suggesting that I was giving it some thought, but which they took as skepticism. A colleague of mine also lost one marriage counseling client because their spouse replied to a question about in-laws coming over with a nervous smile emoji (😬). The psychologists then spent 15 minutes coming up with the reason the spouse was smiling about the in-laws, assuming that was the core of the post-nodal smile.
The small pixels that make up the images contain emotions that are far larger than their physical size. The use of “moji” requires a high degree of consideration on the user’s part. For instance, when considering sending a mobile phone emoji while using WhatsApp, the thought process is complex. After all, I ask myself, “What does this symbol mean to a sub-30-year-old?” “Does this have any sexual undertones that I am oblivious to?” “Am I better off rephrasing this as an attempt to overly relate to youths by an overly concerned middle-aged man?” The key focus here is trying too hard.
My home is a source of authority which I turn to during moments of uncertainty. My daughter currently gets regular screenshots that I authenticate with the detail, “Can I send this?” My reasons for these consultations, which by the way, incur a one dollar fee, provide my daughter with the astonishingly detailed information she seeks which, repeatedly, saves me enormous embarrassment. My daughter, last month, overruled my attempt at the use of the 💅 emoji and with some exasperation explained to me that it was far too sassy for me to be using and then encouraged me not to use too many fire emojis as well (her reasoning being that below a certain age, exuberance is grim practicality. After a certain age, it bordering on desperation). The meant point is not only following youth fads, but observing the development of communication in the society nowadays. For many centuries, languages have been written, with the tone and context learned through the word selection and sentence structure.
We are combining together to form an image-word language that permits us to convey a novel concept—an emotion that transcends mere words. As a professional wordsmith, this is nothing short of shocking, and also captivating. What utterly astonishes me is the absolute shift in our comprehension of reactions due to the use of emoji.
Before going to dinner, I have to choose between emojis that best symbolize my disdain and anger towards Thai food, and my comparative appreciation for Italian food. Am I in a mood where I wish for more pizza emojis than Instagram like emojis, or is the pizza joint worthy of a celebration emoji? Emotions are neatly and tidy icons is baffling because it reduces humanity into something manageable.
Regardless, with all my problems, I find it very difficult to disregard the efficient use of these digital symbols. Whenever they are used correctly, these emojis add to the explanation without using too many words, and replace the lost non-spoken communication.
And as is often the case, these symbols allow for a more streamlined and rapid form of conveying thoughts. Even if it does baffle some Gen Xs like me. While emojis accomplish their aims, I do tend to proceed with caution like a child cautious around a lion.
Having said this, I do understand emojis are made for usage and do serve a purpose. I find it incredibly difficult to believe emojis expressing laughter are clear as day; a face crying tears of joy is arguably the clearest descriptor for tears of joy.
In the hands of the skilled, their utmost creativity has paid off throughout centuries of human existence unlike the pictorial-mongers, who do claim to have superiority. As is sometimes the case, the olden ways do offer the best solutions. And saying that does grief me, but words accompanied with this emoji’s sorrowful grin, cast lovely relief to my misery.
💀
