Julie, Author at The Scrolling Dead

Posted by Julie

Julie’s a social media manager in Austin who can’t scroll without analyzing engagement metrics. She writes with dark humor about influencer culture, algorithm fatigue, and the bizarre realities of working in the very industry she loves to hate. Her life is content—and that’s the problem.

View Full Post

Why I Turn Into a Human Umbrella Every Time My Phone Gets Near Water (And You Probably Do Too)
Yesterday I watched a grown man basically turn himself into a pretzel to protect his iPhone from what was honestly just a light drizzle. I...
by Julie 5 months ago1 week ago

Yesterday I watched a grown man basically turn himself into a pretzel to protect his iPhone from what was honestly just a light drizzle. I was standing outside this coffee place in downtown Austin – you know the one with the overpriced cortados and WiFi that cuts out every ten minutes – when it started...

0
I Gave Up Caring About Every Single Thing Online and It’s Actually Amazing
Last Tuesday at drinks with my coworkers, Sarah looked at me like I’d grown a second head when I told her I had no idea...
by Julie 5 months ago1 week ago
I Used to Flex My 3,000 Unread Emails Like a Badge of Honor (And It Nearly Broke Me)
Last week I watched two marketing directors in our Austin office basically have a measuring contest over their inbox disasters, and honestly? It was like...
by Julie 5 months ago1 week ago
That Time I Spent 40 Minutes Staging a “Candid” Coffee Moment
Last week I posted this super casual photo of me on my balcony with my coffee, looking all zen and productive. Got like 350 likes...
by Julie 6 months ago1 week ago
That Time Facebook Reminded Me I Once Called iPhone Users “Sheeple” and Other Digital Disasters
So there I was this morning, innocently scrolling Facebook with my coffee, when the app decided to cheerfully serve up one of my “memories” from...
by Julie 7 months ago1 week ago
My Phone Is Basically My Adult Security Blanket and I’m Not Okay With That
Last Tuesday I was sitting at a restaurant waiting for a coworker (who was running late because of course they were) and had this moment...
by Julie 7 months ago1 week ago
I Helped Build Those Evil Typing Dots and Now They’re Ruining My Life
It’s 2:47 AM and I’m watching three dots pulse on my screen like a tiny heartbeat. Tyler’s typing something – has been for about four...
by Julie 7 months ago1 week ago
I Accidentally Went on a Date with Someone Who Rejected My Startup Pitch (Thanks, Algorithm)
So there I was, sitting across from someone who looked absolutely nothing like their dating profile photos, and honestly? They were probably thinking the exact...
by Julie 8 months ago1 week ago
I Ditched My iPhone for a Flip Phone and Nearly Lost My Mind (But Maybe Found My Soul?)
Last Tuesday, I was sitting at my company’s quarterly strategy meeting – you know, the kind where everyone pretends to care about Q4 metrics while...
by Julie 8 months ago1 week ago
I Spend My Whole Day Staring at My Own Face and It’s Making Me Lose My Mind
Okay so last Tuesday I’m sitting in my fourth video call of the day – which honestly isn’t even that many for me anymore, my...
by Julie 8 months ago1 week ago